{"id":16743,"date":"2012-12-11T12:38:13","date_gmt":"2012-12-11T17:38:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.raleighpublicrecord.org\/?p=16743"},"modified":"2012-12-14T12:01:35","modified_gmt":"2012-12-14T17:01:35","slug":"domestic-abuse-in-raleigh-a-quiet-reality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/news\/2012\/12\/11\/domestic-abuse-in-raleigh-a-quiet-reality\/","title":{"rendered":"Domestic Abuse in Raleigh: A Quiet Reality"},"content":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: This is the first story in a three-part series examining domestic abuse in Raleigh and Wake County. To protect the privacy and the safety of our sources who were victims of domestic violence, we are only using first names and identifying information is intentionally vague.<\/em><\/p>\n

On a sunny September morning, Kathleen Ann Bertrand was murdered by her husband Christopher Bertrand in front of Pier 1 Imports in Cameron Village. Christopher killed himself shortly after.<\/p>\n

At the time this story was posted, the Bertrand murder was only one of five homicides in Raleigh this year with a family-violence connection. That\u2019s four more than last year, an increase of 400 percent.<\/p>\n

The elite West Raleigh shopping center was the last place Raleigh residents would expect the brutal end of a long history of domestic violence.<\/p>\n

Law enforcement officials and victim advocates alike say domestic violence spans all races, religions and socioeconomic classes. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention<\/a>, one in four women has been a victim of severe physical violence by a partner. It is likely that every resident in Raleigh knows a victim of domestic violence, whether they know it or not.<\/p>\n

Capt. Norman Grodi, who oversees the Raleigh Police Department Family Violence Intervention Unit, said that as of press time, there were 16 homicides total in Raleigh this year. Of the five domestic-violence-related killings, three were between partners or ex-partners, and two were adults causing the death of a child.<\/p>\n

Homicide Victims of Domestic Violence in 2012<\/center>Christopher Childers, 1
\nFeb. 6
\nRelationship to alleged offender: Son<\/p>\n

Nancy Pedraza, 23
\nApril 27
\nRelationship to alleged offender: Girlfriend<\/p>\n

Agata Filipsha-Vellotti, 43
\nAugust 30
\nRelationship to alleged offender: Estranged Spouse<\/p>\n

Kathleen Bertrand, 41
\nSept. 10
\nRelationship to alleged offender: Estranged Spouse<\/p>\n

Joshua Callahan, 2
\nSept. 26
\nRelationship to alleged offender: Son<\/p>\n

Information provided by the Raleigh Police Department<\/em><\/center><\/div>\n

There was only one domestic violence-related murder in 2011.<\/p>\n

Grodi explained that domestic violence isn’t just the stereotypical husband-beats-wife scenario. Domestic violence could happen between boyfriends and girlfriends, ex-partners, ex-spouses, same-sex partners, common law marriages, parents and children and even grandparents and children.<\/p>\n

In North Carolina there aren\u2019t specific criminal offenses for domestic violence. For example, if a husband assaults his wife, he could be charged with assault on a female. If that same man assaulted a female stranger, he could be charged with the same thing. According to Wake County Assistant District Attorney Amily McCool, the cases would be handled differently and would be sent to different courtrooms.<\/p>\n

The court checks \u201cyes\u201d if a crime has a domestic violence component.<\/p>\n

According to data provided to the Record by the North Carolina Administrative Office of the Courts and the Wake County Clerk of Court, there were about 2,400 cases in Wake County that had a domestic violence indicator of \u201cyes\u201d during fiscal year 2011-12. During the same time, there were about 42,600 cases statewide.<\/p>\n

In Wake County, these numbers are up 2 percent from fiscal year 2010-11.<\/p>\n

Despite these sorts of numbers, there continues to be a societal push to keep these problems behind closed doors in the privacy of the abused and abuser’s home. While many say things are getting better, advocates continue to have an uphill battle.<\/p>\n

This series will examine domestic abuse \u2014 physical and emotional \u2014 from the eyes of the police, the courts, the support organizations and of the victims themselves.<\/p>\n

We’ve interviewed two victims of domestic abuse and we will share their stories in the series. To ensure their privacy, will only be using first names and identifying characteristics are intentionally vague.<\/p>\n

Ann-Marie<\/strong>
\nAnn-Marie is eager to share her story.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s eloquent, but blunt. She doesn\u2019t coat her story with sugar. It\u2019s real and it\u2019s ugly.<\/p>\n

[media-credit name=”Ariella Monti” align=”alignright” width=”420″]\"\"<\/a>[\/media-credit]<\/p>\n
\n
<\/dt>\n
The worry wall at InterAct is a place where the child victims of domestic abuse can write down their worries.<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n

Despite the dark time in her life, she speaks with confidence, proud of her survival and everything she has accomplished since her abuse 40 years ago.<\/p>\n

A daughter of strict parents, Ann-Marie lived a sheltered life while growing up in Nassau County, NY. She lashed out in college.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s when I began to sow my wild oats,\u201d she said. \u201cI had never been as free as I was before.\u201d<\/p>\n

She met her future husband in a nightclub. He was tall, dark, handsome and charming.<\/p>\n

He had a criminal past and spent some time behind bars, but Ann-Marie didn\u2019t care. She was smitten.<\/p>\n

Her mother hated him and begged her to end the relationship. But, the young woman defied her mother’s wishes.<\/p>\n

They dated for about a year. Ann-Marie became pregnant just before her college graduation and they eloped. Within a month, she said she knew she made a mistake.<\/p>\n

While he was the perfect boyfriend, he proved to be a less-than-perfect husband.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know it at the time, but the emotional abuse had started,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Her husband began to isolate her from her friends and family. Now living in New Jersey, she didn\u2019t have any relationship with her sisters. He was suspicious of every man Ann-Marie met, spoke to or even made eye contact with.<\/p>\n

He often accused her of cheating.<\/p>\n

While Ann-Marie never wanted to be sexually intimate with her husband, he forced her to be.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t realize at the time that it was rape,\u201d she said. He raped her all the time.<\/p>\n

It wasn’t until 1993 that North Carolina made it illegal for a husband to sexually assault his wife. North Carolina was the last state to enact this law.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy life was a living hell,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

The Raleigh Police Department and Domestic Abuse<\/strong>
\nMany times, Grodi said, police are dispatched on a domestic abuse call because someone called 911. A uniformed police officer is sent to the location of the call and assesses the situation. Sometimes, he said, a couple will be engaged in a heated argument. Other times, there is evidence of physical abuse. In that case, an immediate arrest is made.<\/p>\n

Regardless, the officer is required to file a report, which is forwarded to the Family Violence Intervention Unit (FVIU).<\/p>\n

Founded in October 1997 through a federal grant, the FVIU includes 12 employees: Four uniformed officers, four detectives, two crisis counselors, one victim advocate and one sergeant. The unit has been funded by the Raleigh Police Department since 2001 when the federal funding ran out.<\/p>\n

The FVIU is located on Oberlin Road in the InterAct<\/a> Family Safety and Empowerment Center. The center houses eight organizations that focus on victim services.<\/p>\n

Each domestic abuse case is assigned to the appropriate person within the FVIU. This person is required to make contact with the victim to make sure things are OK and that no one feels threatened or unsafe.<\/p>\n

Depending on the situation, an investigation is started and an arrest is made.<\/p>\n

The FVIU works with InterAct and its partners to provide counseling, safe housing and emergency restraining orders for victims.<\/p>\n

Grodi said the goal is to make sure the altercation, no matter the severity, doesn’t happen again, especially if children are involved.<\/p>\n

According to numbers supplied by the Raleigh Police Department, there were about 2,080 crimes related to domestic abuse in the city. These crimes include simple assaults, aggravated assaults, burglary, rape and murder.<\/p>\n

The number of cases is down from about 3,470 in 2011.<\/p>\n

Grodi wouldn’t comment on the exact cause of the domestic violence homicides this year, but said that in a few cases, personal economic conditions did play a roll.<\/p>\n

The FVIU is trying to be more proactive instead of reactive by intervening earlier in the process and following up with families before things escalate, like in the case of the Bertrands.<\/p>\n

\u201cUnfortunately, when there\u2019s someone that\u2019s determined and they\u2019ve made the decision to commit that kind of act, it\u2019s very difficult to stop no matter how much protection is in place,\u201d Grodi said.<\/p>\n

Without the legal ability to track an abuser\u2019s movements, Grodi said it\u2019s sometimes difficult to defend victims.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe wish you could stop it, but sometimes you just can\u2019t,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Silent Witnesses<\/strong>
\nGrodi said neighbors, friends or family members often witness domestic abuse, but don’t say or do anything. For example, he said, sometimes neighbors might hear a couple yelling and hear something break, but don’t call the police. He encourages people to make those phone calls so that the police can mediate a situation before it gets out of control.<\/p>\n

The same goes for victims.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf someone makes you uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to call the police,\u201d Grodi said.<\/p>\n

Ann-Marie Finds Forgiveness\u2028<\/strong>
\nAfter three years of emotional abuse and isolation, Ann-Marie’s husband finally became violent, while they were driving across New York\u2019s George Washington Bridge.<\/p>\n

During a heated argument, she snapped, she said, and screamed, \u201cI hate you!\u201d repeatedly.<\/p>\n

He hit her in the face as many times as she expressed her loathing. Their young son watched from the back seat of the car.<\/p>\n

Ann-Marie feared that her husband would eventually be abusive toward his son and it was then that she planned her escape.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy son has gone through enough,\u201d she recalled. \u201cHe will not be abused. He will not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ann-Marie packed their bags and jumped on a bus for Boston.<\/p>\n

Her husband tried to find her and threatened to kill her parents if they didn\u2019t give up her location.<\/p>\n

She was stalked for about 10 years before her nightmare finally ended. Her husband died of a heart attack at 39 years old.<\/p>\n

Despite her years of abuse, Ann-Marie attended his funeral with her son, now 13.<\/p>\n

At the funeral, they found that her husband had changed his life around and became active in his church as a youth minister and basketball coach.<\/p>\n

The event changed her son’s life.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen he came back, he was a different child,\u201d she mused.<\/p>\n

Once plagued by behavioral issues, he was now back on track at school and active in his church community. While her son was never abused, Ann-Marie said that he was impacted by the abuse he witnessed.<\/p>\n

Ann-Marie continued her career as a teacher and eventually earned her doctoral degree. She now works as an educator for a local college and works with InterAct speaking to other victims of domestic abuse. She has remarried.<\/p>\n

It was during her training as an InterAct volunteer that she really understood the impact the abuse had on her.<\/p>\n

She focuses her energy on bringing the issue to the forefront of church communities.<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel that the faith community hides this issue,\u201d she said. \u201cI call them closet abusers and closet victims. They\u2019re leaders in church and monsters at home.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There were five domestic-violence-related killings in Raleigh this year and another 2,080 crimes related to domestic abuse. In this first part of a three-part series, the Record examines domestic violence and shares the story of one victim who found a way out. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24029,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[380,1107],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16743"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24029"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16743"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16743\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16743"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16743"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theraleighcommons.org\/raleighpublicrecord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16743"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}